So as of right now it is looking like all she got from me was my long legs and possibly my smile. We're waiting to see if she is going to have her daddy's blue eyes or my green eyes...that of course could take years considering my eyes did not change until I was...9-10 years old maybe? I can't remember how old I was but I remember I was older. I had blue eyes up until then and I used to pray for "green eyes like my Daddy." Well...I got them!
You know, I have been thinking a lot lately about motherhood and all and what I have learned thus far. I have to say that one of the most important things that I have learned so far, and I learned it quite fast mind you, is sometimes you have to do what is best for you and what works for you. I have gotten A LOT of advice (which is always welcomed even if I do not follow it) and been told A LOT of things but in the end I am going to do what I have to do and what is best for my daughter and my family. If McKenna getting some good sleep means that she sleeps on her stomach than so be it, she is going to sleep on her stomach. Or if that means that Mark and I co-sleep for a little bit so that we are not up and down all night than so be it, we co-sleep for a little bit. When it comes down to it I am going to do what I think is best for us all. So far it is working and I am happy to say that McKenna and I have our little routine all set up and we are just waiting to introduce daddy to it when he gets home.
Another BIG lesson for me has been the hardest lesson that I have to and will have to work on each and every day...allowing help. I have always been independent and my own person and biggest of all stubborn. I do not ever want to look weak and I do not want people to think of me as weak or "needing" help. I CAN do it myself, I WILL do it myself, and I will show you as much. Now, will any of that ever change? No, I am always going to be that way, ask my mom. haha BUT I am learning that sometimes I just need to step back and welcome offered help; not everyone who offers thinks that I can't do it or that I "need" help, they are offering because they know that doing it all and relying on yourself all of the time is not healthy. Let me interject here, I am speaking in reference to such times that Mark is out to sea or deployed, not when he is home. None of this is being said with reference to him. He and I are one. However, I have gotten many comments about when he is deployed here soon how I will need help because I have a new baby...things like that make me cringe and make me want to scream and "show you" per se. I am also refering to when my parents were up here and my mother-in-law was up here right after McKenna was born, they are absolutely wonderful and I did not utilize them as I should have. It was not until they all left that I was able to reflect back and come to the realization that I should have taken that time to take all of the help I could get because they were offering to help me in any way at all. (I do apologize to ya'll for that.) As I said earlier, I am very independent so for me to take a step back and be doted on per se is hard for me to do. I do not ever want to come across as weak or incapable but I have learned that allowing help is not a sign of weakness but of strength; being strong enough to say "Yes, can you please help me..."
On another note, as I said earlier, Mark is out to sea right now and super busy. There are days that even I do not hear from him. His job is very stressful so even when I don't hear from him I send him emails about what's going on and always keep them positive. There are not too many times that something is so important that it cannot wait until he gets home. If there is one thing that I have learned from being a Navy Wife (more lessons for another post...haha) it is that things sent to the ship should always be positive; anything that might possibly cause more stress, anger, upset, etc. does not need to be sent. Carriers are huge ships, little towns if you may, but there is no room on there for family problems and stresses because I want my husband coming home safely and if all of that negativity and those petty problems are what he has on his mind than a safe and secure job cannot be done or decision made when it really matters. I really should write a post of things that should and should not be done or said or sent to Sailors who are out to sea. haha Maybe I will do just that. Well anyway, I did not mean to get off on a tangent but there are too many times that I hear of things sent or said to these sailors while they are underway that should have waited and been dealt with at home. When you think about it, on a Navy ship all it takes is one mistake to affect everyone. I don't know about you but I don't want that on my shoulders.
Well I guess that is about all that is going on around here. Time for me to finish up some things around the house before McKenna wakes up to eat.
Ciao!
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